Welp

 <welp> someone needs to make me an aberwiki page 'cos i'm too        lazy :/
 "i think welp is a pretty cool guy. eh does opensource and doesn't afraid of shipman" -- Afal 20:43, 23 March 2008 (GMT)

welp is a pillock who’s well known for inventing Gentoo [citation needed]

welp once fought alongside Linus Torvalds and Richard Stallman in the great battle against Apple when they claimed that they had royalty rights on the key of B Minor. Stallman used his katanas obviously to chop apple down to size while welp whacked them with his cruches (his leg was still broken at the time). Linus didn’t do much and just blogged about some shit no one cares about except for lunix nerds [citation needed]

Unfortunately, welp joined the dark side when he bought himself a MacBook Pro. He has since been disowned permanently and cursed a thousand times by Linus Torvalds and Richard Stallman.

welps involvement with the invention of gentoo lunix was significant. He stated that “Lunix should be for pros so I want to make a pro lunix so lunix pros like me can use it”. At age 16 he wrote nearly 80% of the code. It would have been more but according to the other gentoo developers “welp’s a lazy git”

It is rumoured that welp is a lightweight and a rapist. He likes wearing tweed.

on the first aberphotosoc social yelled I AM NOT GAY in a convenient quiet period; a feat which has since been repeated many times by CMOT-Weasel

Is known for moments of genius being equalled by spectacular moments of utterly stupid cockery.

Welp is not racist at all. He is tolerant of all peoples and societies. Except black people and/or foreigners. Especially the Germans.

Famous Quotes by welp

<@welp> I'm thicker than a MacDonald's milkshake
<slightlymad> welp: im not a fucking social network like you :P
"Oompa Loompa Wheres my pen?" - After being awake for > 27 hours, high on caffeine and slightly intoxicatedwhilst doing the 121 Major Project

On his CS12130 feedback form:

"Version Control Systems such as Git are extremely useful when you somehow manage to anally rape your code whilst simultaneously high on caffeine, slightly intoxicated and suffering from sleep deprivation. I'vebecome a *huge* fan of the git revert command in the last few days..."

Actually talking about a bowl that had soup in it:

<welp> It's cold and slightly dried out<welp> I don't really want to lick it

On IRC at some ungodly hour of the AM:

<welp> If you spend enough time with me, you'll be shouting "HEIL HITLER" left, right and center

pffff… we all do that anyway 😛 – Pyro

In his PH195 exam: (After doing no revision, and despite it being an open-book exam, walking in with nothing but a copy of The Times) — I passed PH195, just so you know 😛

Question: "An art student is experiencing hallucinations blah blah blah. What kind of brain scan would           you use to determine what is wrong?"            Answer:   "It is an art student. He/she is obviously experimenting with drugs such as LSD. I'd advise a           blood test to determine what drug(s) he/she has been taking"

About his father – now we know where he gets it from:

<welp> Yet he calles Obama 'Obama bin Laden'<welp> And says stuff like 'It's raining hamerheads and nigger babies'

or maybe…

<welp> Darth Vader is my father?!

Freudian slip? (in response to Pesho_T talking about cooking for the first time)

<welp> Next you'll be moving onto nigger and better things!

Randomly:

<welp> Numb penis again:(* welp gets up for a walkabout<jobdone> welp, ai. i get that sometimes. it's fucking horrible.<welp> Yeah, 'tis :(<welp> All better now though
<welp> About 8 big ones, I think
<welp> Lobsters are fun! I know how to put them into a trance :p<Willow> shout 'boo'?<welp> Nah, you have to kinda stand them on their head and stroke them<Willow> why would you want to put them in a trance?<welp> For fun?
<welp> Willow, i've eaten glue before with no side effects<JAGFin7> welp == idiot<WillowWork> o_O<CMOT--Weasel> welp, you silly bugger :-/<WillowWork> I agree with JAGFin7!<JAGFin7> as would most sane people<welp> I wanted to see what it tasted like... And the bottle said nontoxic
<welp> Gentoo sucks
<Narcissus> I just stole welp's trackthingy<Narcissus> and he shouted "MY NIPPLE" in the middle of the delph<Narcissus> >_<
<welp> I got you a postcard now ^_^<welp> Buahaha<welp> Now I need to work out how to post it<WillowWork> ...?<welp> What* welp doesn't know how stamps work

later…

<welp> If I write thank-you letters to abroad people, I just write the address on, and the stamps and stuff gets dealt with by someone else
<welp> I'm a student with a broken leg! >.<<Silverstar> whose fault was that welp??<welp> Your mum's>>> welp blows a raspberry at Silverstar <Silverstar> welp, ur lucky im not within beatin distance of u::: welp was kicked from #42 by Silverstar [Silverstar]
<@solar> pics or it did not happen<@welp> http://dev.gentooexperimental.org/~welp/brokenleg/<@solar> yikes. it happened ;/
* welp wants to be able to go for 6 hours without charging again
* welp takes the blanket* welp strips fragalot <fragalot> MEANIE!* welp dries fragalot with a towel* fragalot shows off* welp gives fragalot the blanket back
<@welp> Drunken underwater BJs == stupid
<+welp> I ASKED NARC TO PUT ICE ON MY CLIT
<Steffy> welp *IS* a social network
<+welp> Narcissus: Shall we buy identical laptops next year? ^__________^<+Narcissus> >_<<+Narcissus> then come out of the closet?<+welp> Yar
<welp> I DON'T WANT A GENTLE APPROACH
* welp is now known as slightlygay
* welp imagines something to do with fapping
<welp> mooncup: I has an idea!<mooncup> tell me eet :3<welp> Cybering!
<@welp> Did you think my presentation was okay?<@pea55> uhhhhhh dunno werent rele payin attention i saw summat shiny and i was gone
+welp: I think one of the major things I regret about running in front of the car+welp: Is that people attempt to stop me from doing sill ythings+welp: :(+welp: *silly things
<+Narcissus> can I show you my glow in the dark cock rings?<+welp> Yes :D
welp: I was flower girl at Vee's wedding!+Steffy: whut?!
<slightlymad> welp are you sure you aren't gay...<welp> Noooooo
+Steffy: :P+welp: o.O+welp: Gay :D+fragalot: BAck
welp: fragalot: Want me to show you my penis on welpcam? :)
<+welp> I don't really want gay sex in the Union, don't worry :P<+WillowWork> :P<+welp> s/in the Union, //
<+welp> Fucking<+welp> Tarded<+welp> Fire<+welp> Alarms<+welp> Fuck<+welp> You<+welp> Not<+welp> At<+welp> 1<+welp> am<+welp> That will be all<+welp> *gone*
<welp> Work faster for me >.<
* CMOT-Weasel goes in search of boxers<welp> Oooooooh<welp> GUYS
<welp> Oooh, a little way down south
<+welp> op-bot: MAKE YOUR DONG REPLY TO MY PING

welp is actually a homo!!

<+welp> Rambo!<+welp> Haaawt<+Steffy> 0.o<+welp> All the shiny sweat-covered muscle<+welp> <3
<+welp> There are dumb people in Englands
+welp: Where's my welpcome parade? :(+slightlymad: mmm reheated pasta sauce+MeiraSanya: wb welp * Narcissus pounces on welp +welp: ^_^ * MeiraSanya huggles welp  * slightlymad throws a ripped up receipt at welp * welp tickles Narcissus  * KaunMoth throws some glitter at welp +KaunMoth: there you go * welp huggles MeiraSanya  * Narcissus tickles welp * welp shakes the glitter out of his hair * teconrodo lays down some palm branches * Narcissus points the semi-naked girls at welp  * welp throws a bouncy ball at slightlymad  * welp walks on the palm branches   * slightlymad catches it * Narcissus grinds behind welp
 @Supergirl|Aus: then there was way to much man love lol @welp: Supergirl|Aus: Did you wander about nekkid? @welp: Ooooooh, man luvvin' @welp: <3
 <+fragalot> hehe, darth vader porn * welp is already googling for it
 <@welp> PENIS PUMP FOR LIFE
 Regarding Google Mars <welp> I FOUND WATER <welp> <_< >_> <welp> Oh <welp> It's all blue <welp> nvm
 Regarding spaceinvader getting lost in Manchester 12:06:39 <@welp> op-bot should just come home 12:06:45 <@welp> spaceinvader's supposed to be an adult 12:06:54 <@welp> And as we all know, adults can look after themselves 12:07:01 <@Narcissus> welp: last year 12:07:03 <@Narcissus> car 12:07:04 <@Narcissus> EOF

worked for NASA in the 60s

Confirmed by Welp getting bladdered, and despite being aided by Sapphire and BeerMonkey managed to knock himself out against a wall and put himself in hospital.

ZOMFGZORZ WELPCAM!!