He is Tom. Munificent Tom. Huggable, loveable Tom.

Everyone likes Tom.

I like Tom.

You like Tom.

You really like Tom.

You like Tom in inappropriate ways.

Tom doesn’t like that.

Tom loves his console
All his pr0n is in Ascii
He views it in vi.

People want to hug Tom
Tom doesn’t want their love
Who could blame him?

This is slashtom.
His butt is “exit only.”
Stop touching his arse.

Your life is your own.
But please don’t try to groom tom.
He doesn’t like that.

Slashtom likes puppies.
Well, I’m guessing that he does.
Who can hate puppies?

Slashtom super star.
Master king yum-yum donkey.
Donkey donkey fun.

Even kids like tom.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Unresolved issues?

Tom rides his machine
It gets hot and so does he
Tom likes to go fast

Can’t you understand?
Slashtom is the best there is.
I guess that is why
You love slashtom so,
But he just isn’t like that.
Keep it in your pants.

Slashtom is not in
Queensryche. Never was or will.
You’ve got the wrong tom.

Tom is no tory.
Nor is he a communist.
His views are his own.

Where is tom going?
Or yet, from whence has he come?
Tom’s a mystery.

Tom cannot ‘txt’ you.
So don’t bother with asking.
He just can’t do it.

I met slashtom once.
It was in my dreams (not gay).
He seemed very nice.

Slashtom as a pirate
Would be nice. i think quite butch
He could plunder well

Tom is average.
half is above, t’other aint,
‘cos it is below.

Tom is not what you
Would think him to be. He is
Out on his black bike.

Gloomcookie: this coucil estate
it is flea ridden like tom
the man no one likes