Jokes

Lions like Jokes, do you like Jokes ?

<Jonneh> 3 girls walk into a pub (omg controversial)<Jonneh> one of them says 'hooray, we've colonised a male dominated joke format'<Jonneh> the second one says 'woo hoo, look at my massive breasts'<Jonneh> and the third one says, "it's a hollow victory, because the jokes are still told my men

man walks into a bar… says ouch

dyslexic man wanks into a bra…

dyslexic man walks into a bra…

man walks into a bar… he’s an alcoholic and its tearing his family apart

blonde girl jumps off a bridge… she’s a manic depressive and she can’t take any more

three blokes in a pub…
two of them say, we saw like 10 guys go into your wifes house yesterday..
the third guy goes, yeah, she’s had to turn to prostitution to fund her drug habit

a man walks of a cliff shouting “roger?”…blind man looking for his dog

Man goes to the doctors “Doctor, Doctor I think I have something wrong with me…” Doctor: “You have AIDS”

man goes to the doctors and doctor asks him what’s wrong.
man says “i have aids.”

Three men are sitting at the bar. Man one says, “You know, it’s the damndest thing, but I seem to have the clap.” Man number two says, “You know, I’ve had the clap for a while, and it sucks bad.” The third says “Aye, I guess we shouldn’t have had all that gratuitous mansex together, then.” Man one, “Aye.” Man two, “Aye.”

A dog walks into a bar… and gets shooed out because it’s a violation of the health code.

<sebb> a dog walks into a bar...woof

Three priests and a rabbi are in the parking lot. The priests beat up the rabbi and steal his torrah.

A guy is sitting in an internet cafe looking at porn. It’s Fran and he gets arrested for going to www.hotnakedunderageteens.com.

Aimaz walks into a church and gets attacked by the congregation. Being over 6’2″ is blashpemous.

There once was a man from Nantucket. Let’s just say that the stories about him are highly exaggerated.

patient: “doctor doctor, i appear to have a steering wheel on my groin!”
doctor: “i’m wet”
patient: “doctor, i think that’s vastly inappropriate.”

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Getting raped in a field.

Bluec is in his apartment fucking his girlfriend. They’re all over the place, one minute fucking on the kitchen counter, next on the floor in the bathroom… she’s clawing at his back and he’s biting her nipples. They pause for a moment and he pulls out, turns her over, and goes to put it in her ass. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit presumptuous?” she says. “Don’t you think presumptuous is a big word for an seven-year-old?” he replies.

Braingrind was walking down a hallway and he was approached by a small leprechaun.
“How goest thee, wee li’l man,” queried the ‘Grind.
The leprechaun gazed up as high as he could crane his little neck and exclaimed “What manner of man speaks but cannot be seen? There is no one here to ask me and naught to stop my path except this wall!”
The ‘Grind chortled happy, deep rumbling punctuated with the stoccatto peals of girlish laughter.
“Truly, I must be dreaming; this hall ends quickly at a quivering mass from which emmanates the most curious of sounds,” gasped the leprechaun.
“Eat my shit,” replied the ‘Grind and stamped him flat.

<m0ng> does anyone want a 1938 map of central london, centered on buckingham palace?<hypno> sure<Aimaz> did i tell you about the brummy i met fishing in the ystwyth?<Aimaz> i went up to him and said<Aimaz> "hey, caught 'owt" "yea', I caught a whale"<Aimaz> "a whale!?"<Aimaz> "yer, had all ther spoookes n everytheeng"<bluecgi> another word for rehash is wangle<Aimaz> i see<slashtom> sand monkeys?<Aimaz> towel heads<slashtom> i see<slashtom> ragheads<slashtom> :)<Quasi> must be nice to have vocab you can understand, scattom

“whats the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?”
“theres twenty of them”

<m0lly> "whats the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?" <bluec> 5 each maybe

What breaks when your having sex?A three year olds pelvis

What have that man who was beheaded in Iraq and Man City got in common?Wanchope

skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop

Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”
The boss says, “You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that.”
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.”

<Jonneh> Who is the opposite of Christopher Reeves?<Jonneh> Christopher Walken /uploads/Chris.JPG

<Flx> "What do Jews and Kurds have in common?"<Flx> "They've both been gassed to death in large numbers"

There’s a world shortage of Fairy Liquid. Apparently this is due to thousands of Asians washing up on the beach.

Q. What do you call a man who has abused a million children? A. A Millipeed

Guy goes to see his doc, and his doc’s says..”so dear chap, what can I do for you?” Well.. says the guy, every time I fuck my knees hurt. “what position do you most frequently use?” asks the medic.. “well… doggy style” says the chap, rubbing his sore limbs and wincing. “try a different position then…” “I can’t” the aching patient says. “my dog does’nt like it”

What the difference between Kurt Cobain and a glass of beer?Ones an internationally known rock legend and the other is an alcoholic beverage.

Mr_T walks into a CS313 exam… and fails because he asked to take it in Welsh thinking it would be good practice.