A country ultimately doomed from the start, originally populated by the people not wanted in Britain (like the Bee Gees) full of dangerous creatures such as dingos, crocodiles, horrid spiders, snakes and the deadly koala bear. Indeed it would seem Australia was not meant for human inhabitants when you consider the ridiculous temperatures coupled with the lack of natural resources, shelter from the sun and drinkable water.

Australia’s biggest exports are bad beer, soaps, uranium and backpackers. It is hard to know what Australia’s biggest imports are but it is reasonable to assume that they are not found in Australia and are absolutly neccesary for survival.

Don’t call us Poms, say Poms

“We can stop saying ‘pom’ but then ‘pommie bastard’ will just be ‘bastard'”
“I’d rather be called ‘pom’ than ‘bastard'”
“I’ve called you ‘pom'”
“I know but you aint called me ‘bastard'”
“not to your face”