Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey you’ve got a steering wheel in your crotch.” The pirate says “Arrrr it’s driving me nuts.”

see Ferret


This is not only a WeakPirateJoke , it is the WeakestJokeEverhypno

I laughed for a long time. Great joke! —braingrind

A Pirate went trick or treating one day, when he came to a house a woman said ‘Nice pirate costume, but where are your buccaneers!’ ‘Arrr’ went the pirate ‘On my bucking head you bucking stupid woman’

see Ferret

A Pirate walked into a bar one day, the barman said ‘Blimy Old Rick, You Look Rough!’ The pirate said ‘Arrr, ’tis a tough life being a pirate!’ But Old Rick, You you only have one leg, a hook for a hand and and eyepatch?’

Well said Old Rick, the leg I lost through hand to hand fighting with the english. The hook for a hand I got through a risky operation and the eyepatch, well I got that when I was up the mizzen mast searching for the english ships and a seagull pooed in my eye’

The barman said with some suprise, ‘a seagull pooed in your eye? That doesn’t make you go blind!’

Arr, that is true’ said the pirate ‘But it was the first day with the hook’

see Ferret

I laughed until my eyeballs fell out. Dude of a joke! — NorseArry

On the high seas there was a Fearsome Pirate named Terrible Dan. He was feared throught the high seas due to his terrible temper and vicious fighting style.

One day the cabin boy came up to Terrible Dan after shinning up the Mizzen mast. He goes to Terrible Dan ‘I was up the mast! And there was a fleet of british corsairs here to arrest you!’

Terrible Dan says, ‘Arr, nay problem laddy. Get me my Red Shirt’ The cabin boy goes ‘The red shirt, why is that?’ So Terrible Dan goes ‘Arr, tis simple. So if I am wounded in the fighting the men won’t lose heart for the fight’

Next comes up a midshipman and says ‘The British, they have 10 of the finest ships I have seen, with many guns fore and aft’ So Terrible dan goes ‘You cowardly dog, arr.. Fetch me my stoutest boots. And be quick before I slit ya gizzards’ The midshipman goes ‘Why your stoutest boots’ So Terrible dan says ‘ So I can grind those English Dogs into the deck… Arrrr For Sure’

Next Comes The Ships Navigator, looking very worried and says ‘I hate to tell you this, but the men have deserted! They all jumped overboard!’ So Terrible Dan says ‘ Shiver my Timbers. Those traitorous lily-livered cads… Get me my brown trousers!’