Phillip Mountbatten, A confused and mildly racist old Greek man who would not be allowed outside if it wasn’t for the fact that he married the ‘TheQueenOfEngland’

He is so delightfully racist he is like that grampa of yours that will go into a senile rant upon seeing any race other than white.

See Also Braingrind, he is Greek after all

List of the Many insulting remarks of good old ‘phil’

After accepting a gift from a Kenyan native he replied, “You are a woman aren’t you?”

After the Dunblane massacre¬†: “If a cricketer decided to go into a school and batter people to death with his bat, are we going to ban cricket bats?”

Told a student from Brunei how sorry he was that the student had to fly to Glasgow.

During a WWF (world wildlife fund, not world wrestling federation) visit he refused to touch a Koala bear as “It will be riddled with ghastly diseases”

On visiting Brunei, our Phil, who was tired and disoriented after a 14 hour flight, pointed his index finger, while talking to the Sultan of Brunei’s First Wife. This is an insult of the highest order. A palace spokesman later tried to smooth the incident over with an unlikely story that the prince was pointing at something in the sky, and not at a person.

“If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine the Cantonese will eat it”

Welcomed Fat former German chancellor Helmut Kohl as ‘Reichskanzler’ The title Hitler gave to himself and has never been used since.

Suggested locals were cannibals on a visit to Papua New Guinea by saying to a British student “You managed not to get eaten then?”

Said to a wealthy Cayman Islander, “Aren’t you all descended from pirates?”

Asked a Scottish driving instructor “How do you keep the natives off the booze, long enough for them to pass their test”

Told a group of deaf school children at a fund raising event standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band, which was clearly not to Phil The Greek’s Liking¬†:- “Deaf? No wonder you are deaf, standing so close to that racket”

Recently describing Brazil, he quipped that it would be paradise, if it weren’t for the Brazilians.

On a visit to China he described Peking as “ghastly” and said that if you stay too long there you will become “slitty eyed”

Told a student in Budapest that “You can’t have been in Budapest that long because you haven’t got a pot-belly”

In India visiting a site where the British army, in the years of the Empire, had slaughtered Indian civilians, He was shown a plaque commemorating the 2000 killed to which he quipped “No, no, we didn’t slaughter that many”

Told a mother who had recently lost two sons in a house fire that:- “smoke alarms are a damn nuisance”

On touring a factory in Edinburgh, he told a group of workers that a fuse box “Doesn’t look like it’s been fitted by a cowboy, more like the Indians” Though he did apologise to the Indian Community soon after (10th Aug. 1999)

After asking a portly young boy what he wanted to do when he grew up, and getting the answer An Astronaught, he quipped, ” best start shedding a few pounds then! ”

On a tour of Austrailia, after observing a demonstration of aborigonal spear dancing, he asked, “do you still throw those things at each other then? “, to which he got the short reply, “no we don’t go in for that sort of thing anymore”

And later on the same day he was allegedly heard asking a wheelchair user if they got in the way all the time.