Bendigeidfran

<Afal> It's starts in Wales with this hotgurl called Branwen
<Afal> and then meanwhile in Ireland some dude called Matholwch is like "Shit man 
I want to fuck her"
<Afal> and the evil council was like "WTF why Matholwch thinking about gurls?" but 
then think "Hey if he marries her, we can take over Wales"
<Afal> and so they tell him to do it
<Afal> and he's like in Wales he has to go to Bendigeidfran who's FUCKING HUGE
<Afal> I mean HOLY CRAP LOOK AT HIM
<Afal> Anyway Matholwch asks Bendigeidfran if he can marry Branwen and Bendigeidfran 
was like "O OK"
<Afal> but then Efnisien the crazy half brother was like "FUCK WHAT ABOUT ME. WHY 
WON'T THEY ASK ME ABOUT HOW I THINK ABOUT IT"
<Afal> so he goes all crazy and cuts horses ears off
<Afal> anyway back to the story: Matholwch catches Efnisien and he's all "I'm gonna
bust a cap in yo ass G"
<Afal> and Bendigeidfran is like "No I'll do anything... Take my horses!"
<Afal> Matholwch says no
<Afal> "Take this stick and plate made with gold and silver"
<Flx> good negotiation
<Afal> Matholwch says no
<Afal> "Erm ermm.... TAKE THIS MAGIC CAULDRON!!!"
<Afal> (about here there is a musical bit about the cauldron which makes dead people alive)
<Afal> and the Evil Counsel was like in those cartoons where they have dollar signs in 
their eyes but they had cauldrons in their eyes
<Afal> where was I?.... oh yeah so Matholwch takes the cauldron and then goes back 
to Ireland with His new wife and Bendigeidfran is like "Phew that was a close one"
<Afal> back in Ireland the evil Concil tell Matholwch to punish Branwen and Matholwch is
like "Fuck that I have all these neat Welsh stuff. Also she is my wife and I would never hurt her"
<Afal> and they push him to do it and he eventually does it
<Afal> so now Branwen is in the kitchen where she gets her daily bitchslap from the royal cooks
<Afal> i forgot to mention that Matholwch was a prince did I?
<Afal> anyway she goes all emo and gives a message to a bird
<Afal> which flies to Bendigeidfran and is all "WAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR"
<Afal> SO they try to go to ireland by going over bridge but it is broken
<Afal> (here I repeat what I said at the begining)

<Afa1> Bendigeidfran is such a fucking dude
<Afa1> People are like "fuck the bridge is down. how the fuck do we 
get to Ireland to save your sister from the evil Matholwch, Bendigeidfran?"
<Afa1> and Bendigeidfran is like "Dude shut up" and becomes a human bridge
<Afa1> So Bendigeidfran was like "Leave my sister alone you fucking cunt" and 
Matholwch was all "Dude chill. I'll give you a house with some sacks of flour" 
and Bendigeidfran was all "Aww Badasss. You are forgiven"
<Afa1> But crazy Half brother Efnisien was all "HE'S NOT GIVING HIM SACKS OF 
FLOUR. THIS IS A TRAP I MUST STOP THEM" (Efnisien was crazy and talked to the 
fourth wall in caps lock all the time)
<Afa1> so Efnisien stabs the sacks (cause Irish soldiers were in them like some 
shitty version of trojan horse or something) and Bendigeidfran was like "DUDE that's 
the only clever thing you have done in all of this story"
<Afa1> And then Branwen has a baby and Efnisien throws it into a fire cause he's 
a douche

<Afal> so after Efnisien throws the baby in the fire there is like a war between Wales and Ireland in Ireland
<Afal> and Wales are like kicking their asses
<Afal> but then the evil counsel was like "Awww shit man GET THE MAGIC CAULDRON"
<Afal> and they put the dead people in the cauldron and they come out as irish fighting zombies
<Afal> so the irish end up beating the crap out Wales
<Afal> Matholwch kills Bendigeidfran and Bendigeidfran asks the welsh to chop his head off to stay 
alive
<Afal> and then Efnisien is all "Shit I've done this crap. I feel bad. I must do something" (this 
is the bit where he doesn't talk in caps lock)
<Afal> so he jumps in the cauldron which is like dividing by zero cause only dead people are allowed 
in and so the thing explodes
<Afal> and everyone in ireland dies except for 5 pregnant women and Branwen who dies later due to 
a broken heart
<Afal> that is the story of Branwen and the moral of the story is this:
<Afal> IRELAND WE ARE GOING TO THRASH YOU IN THE RUGBY 8TH APRIL 2008
<Afal> so goodstory?